Divine Mercy
Confession is not about shame or fear, it is about mercy and love.
Reconciliation Services: Building a Habit of Mercy
When I think back to my experience with reconciliation in my Catholic high school, it lacked reverence and authenticity. As we stood in line in the hallway, it felt more like a requirement than an opportunity for grace. I can remember the feeling of dread and shame as my turn neared to admit my faults and preparing to recite the Act of Contrition I had hurriedly memorized. It felt insincere and forced. This is far from the way that I want students, or anyone, to experience the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
Years later in my young adulthood, I attended a Women’s Cursillo Retreat and everything changed. I made a commitment to “let it all out.” For the first time, I experienced true absolution. The feeling was freeing, and I felt as though a weight was lifted. I walked away joyful with the understanding that confession is not meant to be embarrassing or incite fear. I realized that confession is a gift.
Jesus had great compassion for sinners. Before He healed a person’s exterior, He addressed the interior needs for healing through forgiveness. The Scriptures are filled with examples of Christ’s merciful forgiveness of sins. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is an invitation for Christians to receive this sanctifying grace. All of the sacraments are a place to encounter Jesus.
What the Church Teaches about Confession
Sin is ugly and causes our soul to fill with sorrow. Above all else, sin separates us from God. God is a good and loving Father who wants nothing but goodness for us. Only He can forgive sins. He gives his divine authority to ordained priests, so that we can be reconciled with God (CCC 1441). Confession of serious (mortal) sins is necessary before receiving Communion. Confession of everyday faults (venial sins) is recommended to help “form our conscience, fight against evil tendencies, let ourselves be healed by Christ and progress in the life of the Spirit” (CCC 1458). In other words, confessing our sins regularly helps transform our hearts and minds as disciples of Christ who truly love the Lord and want to be closer to Him with the goal of being with Him for eternity in Heaven. Accompanying students in this sacrament is not about shame or fear, it is about allowing them to mature in their faith walk and recognize that our sins matter to God, but more importantly, He wants to pour out his grace upon us.
Authentic Reconciliation Leads to Transformation.
Teens desire to be loved. Their sins weigh them down. It’s not about shame. It’s about healing and mercy. It’s about recognizing that God loves them for who He created them to be and He wants more for them. Reconciliation reminds them that God’s love is not conditional - it’s healing, freeing, and deeply personal. Everytime I walk out of the confessional, I feel a weight has been lifted. I am filled with peace and joy and love for God.
As campus ministers, we have the sacred responsibility of helping students move from fear to freedom - to see confession not as punishment, but as a pathway to peace. When confession is a regular part of the Catholic identity of your school, students will change their attitude towards confession as one of privilege and necessity. I find that students look forward to this opportunity. A line for confession is a beautiful thing and the devil hates this sacrament because it is a pathway to heaven. Find ways to overcome the challenges of offering Reconciliation at school. Let’s make heaven crowded!
Practical Ways to Build a Culture of Mercy
Walk them through the process.
Like everything we do at school, we have to teach them first. Eliminate fear by helping students understand what to expect. An overview of the sacrament can take place in the Theology classroom. Give brief reminders and resources before inviting students to go to confession. Provide an examination of conscience and a copy of the Act of Contrition.
Make is accessible.
Consider offering monthly confession before school or during lunch. This will help avoid class time interruptions and create consistency that confession is a part of everyday life. Any students remaining in line when time is up, should be encouraged to attend a penance service at their parish. Be ready to provide information about times and places where confession is available regularly.
Host schoolwide Reconciliation services.
A larger service can make the experience communal and joy-filled. When students see their peers participating, it builds a culture of acceptance. Invite as many priests as possible so that all who want to attend are able. We’ve had as many as 18 priests on campus at once. They heard confessions in the gym, the cafeteria, in the courtyard…where ever space is available. It’s a powerful witness to God’s mercy made visible.
Invite Jesus.
When we host a schoolwide Reconciliation service, we have often organized to have one of the priests expose the Blessed Sacrament for Adoration. This allows students to sit at the feet of Jesus as they examine their conscience and allow Him to move their hearts towards reconciling with Him. Music plays an important role in prayer and helps students remain focused. Beginning with a reading from God’s Word, like the parable of the Lost Son (Luke 15: 11-32), may also help focus their thoughts towards the love of the Father and avoid fear.
Celebrate the grace.
After a reconciliation day, talk about what it means to be forgiven. Incorporate reflections or prayer experiences that highlight God’s mercy and love. Another idea may be to have students bring a cross to the altar after going to confession or tear their examination of conscience and place it a bowl to be burned. These actions serve as symbols of Christ carrying the burdens of our daily crosses and destroying our sins with His love.
A Final Note
When leading teens to Christ, a great effort needs to be made to allow as many students as possible the opportunity to attend the sacrament regularly. The goal is not just to offer reconciliation, but to nurture a habit of seeking it. We are building a culture where mercy is normal, healing is expected, and students encounter unconditional love of God right in the heart of their school.
